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Writer's pictureBen Steenstra

BEING HAPPY, EVERY DAY: FIND YOUR PATH AND MOTIVATION WITH YOUR INTENTIONAL DRIVE

Updated: Jan 18

It is now January and we have just left December, with its twinkling lights and festive music, behind us. This month can feel more like a cold, dark evening for some people than the warm festive season it should be. Many people struggle during this month, but also outside of it, with feelings of loneliness, lack of motivation, and a lack of energy. Whether it is due to personal losses or the challenges of everyday life, these moments can be difficult for us.


But what if the solution does not lie in the traditional remedies we so often hear, such as finding the perfect partner or chasing status or material success? What if the real answer lies somewhere deeper, in something we all have within us?



This article is about that search for inner satisfaction and how the key to true joy in life lies not in what we have or who we have with us, but in how we look at our life and what we do with it. It’s about discovering an intentional life, a life in which we make conscious choices that resonate with who we really are and what we really want.


Imagine: instead of wallowing in what is foggy, we discuss in a light but meaningful way how we can enrich our lives with meaning and passion. From appreciating the little things to embracing big changes, it’s all about experiencing life with a sense of zest and self-understanding. For those who sometimes feel lethargic, this article is an invitation to look at life in a new way, away from the shadow of the holidays and into the light of our own strength.


The Difference Between Intention and Attention-Driven Living

In our daily lives, both intention and attention play a crucial role. Attention is not just about impulsive needs; it also includes the essential duties and responsibilities we have, such as caring for children or adhering to traffic rules. These actions, although sometimes routine, are fundamental to an ordered and responsible life. They provide structure and safety in our daily routine.


On the other hand, life is driven by intention. This is about pursuing personal goals and values and making conscious choices that are in line with our deeper beliefs and ambitions. However, this doesn’t mean that pursuing a partner or financial success can’t be valuable or satisfying. These elements can be part of an intentional life, as long as they are pursued with a clear sense of why they are important to us and how they contribute to our overall happiness and well-being.


The trick is to find a balance between the two. A life that relies too much on attention alone may make us forget what we really value, while a life that is all about intention can isolate us from practical realities and obligations. The ideal is to find a harmony where we fulfill our daily responsibilities with mindfulness, while also making room for self-development and the pursuit of deeper, personal goals.


This balance ensures that we not only meet the expectations of the world around us but also remain true to ourselves and our unique life path. It’s about consciously choosing how we respond to life’s demands while pursuing our personal aspirations and dreams. In this way, we create a life that is both rich in meaning and rooted in reality.


Why Attentions Without Intentions Don’t Always Lead to a Happy Life.

It’s a common misconception that getting what we think we need – like a loving partner or financial security – automatically leads to a happy life. Of course, these elements can contribute significantly to our well-being and happiness. A supportive partner can enrich our lives with love and companionship, and financial stability can free us from daily worries and empower us. However, these factors alone are often not enough to give us a deep and lasting sense of satisfaction.


The crucial point here is the distinction between ‘supplement’ and ‘fulfillment’. A partner or financial prosperity should ideally be an addition to our life, not the primary purpose of it. If we see these external factors as the only sources of happiness, we risk ignoring or even forgetting our own inner drive and personal goals. It is this ‘intentional drive’, our own sense of purpose and direction, that forms the basis for lasting happiness and satisfaction.


When we rely solely on external sources for our happiness, we can become trapped in an endless search for the next “lucky charm.” This can lead to a feeling of emptiness because we never really find fulfillment in anything outside of ourselves. Knowing and pursuing our own goals and values, on the other hand, allows us to build a foundation of happiness and satisfaction that is not dependent on external circumstances.


That’s why it’s essential to have a clear idea of ​​what we really want in life, beyond material or relational expectations. It’s about choosing and following our own paths, guided by our personal values ​​and aspirations. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pursue relationships or financial goals, but it does mean we should see them as enriching additions to a life already fulfilled by our own intentions and choices. In this way, we create a life that is not only happy but also authentic and deeply fulfilling.


The Trap of External Fulfillment: Partners, Career, and Finances

In the journey to self-discovery and personal fulfillment, it is essential to recognize a common pitfall: the misconception that pursuing a partner, career or financial prosperity is the ultimate solution to our feelings of emptiness or loneliness. These external goals, while important in their own right, are not the keys to complete fulfillment.


The idea that a partner, successful career, or financial stability can complete us and take away any feelings of loss can distract us from finding true fulfillment that comes from within. While relationships, professional success, and financial security are aspects that contribute to our well-being, they cannot be our only sources of happiness and satisfaction.


When we rely too heavily on these external factors for our self-esteem and happiness, we risk neglecting our own identity and intrinsic values. This can lead to a dependence on external validation, where our happiness and self-esteem continually waver on the waves of external circumstances.


It is therefore important to find a balance. Recognizing the value of a partner, career and financial stability is important, but it is equally crucial to nurture our own passions, talents, and intrinsic motivations. In this way, we build a life that is not only externally successful but also internally fulfilled, following our own path of personal growth and self-realization.


What is an Intentional Drive and Why is This Important?

An “intentional drive” is the inner fire that drives us, the deep, personal reasons that motivate us every day to get up and embrace life. It’s about having a clear understanding of our purpose in life – an awareness of why we are here and what we want to contribute to the world and the people around us. This drive is crucial because it gives us a direction, a compass that helps us navigate the complexities of life.


The power of an intentional drive lies in its ability to enrich and enliven our daily lives. It’s not just a matter of setting and pursuing meaningful goals; it’s about finding joy and meaning in what we do, regardless of the circumstances. This intentional drive gives us the resilience to overcome adversity, not because we never experience sadness or disappointment, but because we have a deeper sense of what gives our lives meaning. This insight allows us to see difficulties as temporary obstacles on a longer, meaningful journey.


Having an intentional drive is like possessing an inner source of energy and passion. It is the ‘gasoline’ that keeps our life engine running, the spark that fuels our enthusiasm and ambition. With such a drive, we can approach each day with a sense of purpose and joy, no matter what the day brings.


A life lived with intentional drive is a life lived with fervor and conviction. It is a life where we not only exist but truly thrive because we act from a place of deep personal truth. This concept goes beyond achieving external successes; it’s about realizing our true potential and fulfilling our unique destiny in this world. Such a life is not only richer and more satisfying for ourselves but also has the power to have a positive impact on those around us and the world at large.


How Do You Find Your Intentional Drive?

Discovering your own intentional drive starts with in-depth self-reflection, asking yourself the question: what is life really about for me? This search goes beyond the desire for a partner, possessions, friends, or money. It’s about identifying your unique values ​​in life, recognizing your personal talents, and finding the things that intrinsically bring you joy.


The key to finding your intentional drive lies in understanding what not only makes you happy but also what gives you a sense of meaning and fulfillment. Ask yourself: what are the activities that allow me to be completely immersed in the moment, the so-called ‘flow’ experiences? These can be moments when you do something that you feel really contributes to something bigger than yourself. It could be caring for animals, helping others, creating art, or something completely different that resonates with your inner core and contributes to the bigger one whole.


It’s about becoming aware of the moments in which you do it feels most alive and passionate. These moments often provide clues about your deepest drives and passions. By following these clues and exploring further, you can gain a clearer picture of your intentional drive.


So, instead of focusing on specific goals or end results, look at how you want to contribute to the world around you. You may contribute to spreading knowledge, promoting wellness, inspiring creativity, or something else entirely unique to you. By taking this contribution as a starting point, you will find a source of motivation and inspiration that is deeper and more lasting than goal setting or external validation.


Finding your intentional drive is a personal and sometimes challenging process, but it is also an incredibly valuable journey. This journey can lead to a life that is not only fulfilling but also has a deeper meaning and purpose. A life in which you not only pursue your dreams but also actively contribute to a world that is richer and more meaningful for everyone.

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