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Silent Authority Leadership: How to Gain Influence Through Subtle Communication

Effective communication is a crucial skill for leaders who aspire to be a quiet authority and aim for thought leadership. Often, the impact of communication skills is underestimated, especially when it comes to creating an influential presence without a loud voice or dominant demeanor. In this article, I introduce an approach to effective communication in leadership, focusing on subtlety, authenticity, and connection.

While many experts focus on assertiveness and charisma as essential leadership qualities, I want to delve deeper into the nuances of quiet authority leadership and how it can be enhanced through thoughtful communication.

By being aware of our communication style and its impact on others, quiet authorities can create an atmosphere of trust and respect that has a lasting influence on their team, business, and the outside world. Below are the essential elements of effective communication for quiet authorities and practical tips for refining communication skills to achieve thought leadership within your field.

Impact of Words and Tonation

Effective communication naturally starts with the choice of words and the right tonation. For leaders striving for quiet authority and thought leadership, it is crucial to be aware of how their language use and voice are received by others. Words have the power to inspire, motivate, but also to discourage or deter. The tone in which words are spoken can also strengthen or weaken a message.

The Importance of Word Choice

Using the right words is essential for conveying a message that resonates with others. It's not about saying something wrong, but about using the right words to express something. “We will completely turn the market upside down,” sounds very different than: “It is our vision to give the industry a boost towards effective mutual cooperation.”

For quiet authorities, it is important to choose words that are visionary, powerful, and meaningful, but also connecting and empathetic. Instead of using compelling language that can deter others, quiet authorities strive to convey their message in a respectful manner.

Examples of Effective and Ineffective Language Use for Quiet Authorities

In an external communication context, where a quiet authority addresses a wider audience or stakeholders, the psychological impact of language use plays a crucial role in how the message is received and interpreted. Here is why one example is more effective than the other from a psychological standpoint:


Effective Language Use: "I have come to believe that our approach adds value to our market."

Approachability and Connection: This language use radiates openness and indicates that the speaker is willing to adjust their beliefs based on new insights or evidence. This enhances the connection with the audience, as it shows that the leader is growing and evolving, which is seen as authentic and approachable.

Respect for Diversity of Perspectives: By using "I have come to believe," the speaker implicitly acknowledges that there is room for other opinions and insights. This is psychologically effective because it shows respect for the diversity of experiences and opinions within the audience, which can increase the acceptance of the message.

Promotion of Engagement: By sharing a personal evolution in thinking, the leader invites others to participate in the conversation. This can lead to greater involvement and interaction, essential for building relationships and networks in a business context.


Ineffective Language Use: "I am sure that our market is not working at the moment."

Defensiveness and Resistance: Absolute statements like "I am sure" can evoke defensiveness in the audience, especially if the listeners have different experiences or opinions. This can create barriers to effective communication and collaboration.

Possible Damage to Trust and Credibility: Assertiveness in a negative context can damage the trust of stakeholders, especially if this statement is not substantiated with facts or if the situation is changeable. Stakeholders may doubt the leader's ability to adequately assess and manage the situation.

Reduced Influence and Persuasiveness: Psychologically, a negative and absolute approach can make it harder to convince or inspire others to act. People are more motivated by hope and the possibility of positive change than by assertive negativity.

By understanding these nuances, a quiet authority can communicate more effectively with external parties, not only conveying information but also building relationships and trust.


Effective Language Use: "Our vision is that travel worldwide should be a pleasure."

Vision-Oriented: This statement emphasizes a vision rather than a claim. It conveys what the organization aims to achieve, namely making travel enjoyable for everyone. This elicits a positive response and inspires, which is important for building an emotional connection with the audience.

Inclusivity: By using the word "our," the speaker creates a sense of community and involvement. It invites listeners to be part of this vision, leading to greater engagement and loyalty.

Open and Non-Confrontational: The phrasing is open and free of confrontation, making it more accessible to a broad audience. It does not impose the vision but presents it as an ideal to strive for.


Ineffective Language Use: "We offer the best and most enjoyable travels and this is proven by customer research!"

Claim and Self-Promotion: This statement makes a direct claim about the quality of the service and relies on external validation ("this is proven by customer research"). This can evoke skepticism, especially if the listener is unfamiliar with the research or doubts its objectivity.

Exclusivity and Possible Mistrust: By claiming to be "the best," the statement may come across as exclusive and even arrogant. This can be off-putting to potential customers looking for humility and authenticity in brand communication.

Lack of Emotional Resonance: While the effective example shares a vision that is universal and inclusive, the ineffective example focuses more on proving superiority. This lacks the deeper emotional resonance necessary to truly motivate and inspire.

From a psychological perspective, a vision-driven and inclusive communication style stimulates more positive emotions and connection, which is essential for effective communication by a quiet authority. On the other hand, directly claiming superiority can evoke resistance and be less effective in building trust and loyalty.

Subtle Tonality

Besides word choice, tonality also plays a crucial role in effective communication. The way words are spoken can change their meaning and convey emotions. For quiet authorities, it is therefore important to maintain a calm and confident tone that exudes authority without dominance. A calm and even speaking style can reassure others and create an atmosphere of trust, which is essential for building long-lasting relationships and inspiring others.

It is important to note that the impact of words and tonality applies not only to formal communication but also to informal interactions and everyday conversations. By being aware of their language use and speaking style, leaders can radiate consistency and authenticity in all their communications, thereby being more effective in achieving their goals as quiet authorities.

Effective Use of Storytelling

The effective use of stories is a powerful tool for quiet authorities to convey their message and inspire others. Stories have the unique ability to evoke emotions and communicate complex ideas in an accessible manner. This allows quiet authorities to connect more effectively with their audience and make their message more memorable.

Practical Example of Narrative Storytelling

A quiet authority leader could tell the following story, for example:

Anna had never thought that her fear of flying would open the door to a new world of opportunities. For years, she had suppressed her desire to travel, until a deep longing to explore the world proved stronger than her fear. She decided to take a chance and booked a flight with an airline known for its hospitality.

The experience onboard exceeded her expectations. The crew was extraordinarily attentive and understanding, and their reassuring presence helped her through moments of turbulence. What touched Anna most was the personal approach and the genuine care the staff showed. Suddenly, she realized that these qualities were exactly what she was looking for in a career.

Inspired by the positive impact the crew had on her, Anna decided to apply for a job in the hospitality department of the same airline after her trip. Due to her personal experience and passion for customer service, she was quickly hired.

Now, several years later, Anna is globally responsible for customer satisfaction within our airline. She uses her own experiences to develop training that focuses on empathy, attention to detail, and the importance of a personal approach—values that made her own journey so transformative.

When a quiet authority leader tells the story of Anna, there are several psychological aspects that contribute to the effectiveness of this approach:

Demonstration of Appreciation and Recognition: By telling the story of another, the leader shows that they value the experiences and contributions of team members. This enhances the perception of a caring and inclusive leader, which is crucial for a quiet authority who leads with empathy and respect for individual contributions.

Reinforcement of Corporate Culture and Values: By sharing Anna’s story, the leader highlights the organization’s core values, such as customer focus, empathy, and personal growth. Not only are these values mentioned, but they are demonstrated through a concrete example of how they are implemented and rewarded in practice.

Inspiration and Motivation Without Self-Glorification: The quiet authority uses Anna’s story to inspire and motivate others, without placing themselves directly at the center. This is a subtle but powerful way of leading, where the focus is on the potential and success of others, contributing to a positive and stimulating environment.

Creating a Narrative Connection: By telling stories that resonate with universal themes such as overcoming personal challenges and professional growth, the leader builds an emotional bond with the audience. This strengthens employee and stakeholder engagement and loyalty.

Exemplifying Leadership by Example: The story not only illustrates the impact of the company on individuals but also shows that the leader is attentive to the development and successes within the team. This reinforces the perception of the leader as someone who is genuinely interested in the well-being and growth of their team members.

Thus, when a quiet authority leader tells the story of Anna, they do so in a way that supports the leadership philosophy and the company culture, while simultaneously inspiring others by highlighting the achievements and path of an employee. This type of leadership is powerful because it is not about claiming success, but about recognizing and celebrating the successes of others.

The Importance of Sticking to Your Vision as a Quiet Authority

For a quiet authority, it is essential to always fall back on the vision of the organization, even when personally attacked or criticized during public appearances. A powerful example of how this works in practice can be seen in an interaction involving Steve Jobs during a conference, where he was challenged about his knowledge and the direction of Apple.

The Challenge and Response:

Steve Jobs was confronted with critical questions about specific technologies and his role at Apple over the past seven years. Instead of responding defensively or disputing the technical details, Jobs used this opportunity to reaffirm the fundamental vision of Apple. He explained that the success of technology does not solely depend on technical superiority, but on how this technology improves customer experience. His focus was on the ultimate goal of developing products that provide clear and direct benefits to users.

Psychological Aspects of Sticking to the Vision:

Authority and Credibility: By consistently communicating the vision, a leader strengthens their authority and credibility. Even under pressure, the leader remains true to the core values and goals of the organization, which instills trust among both internal and external stakeholders.

Leadership and Direction: In times of uncertainty or criticism, repeating the vision provides clear direction and shows leadership. This helps to keep the team focused and motivated, oriented toward long-term goals despite short-term challenges.

Resistance to Distraction: By putting the vision first, a leader minimizes distractions that can arise from side issues or criticism that is not relevant to the main goals. This protects the organization from losing focus and resources on less important matters.

Building Trust and Support: When a leader consistently supports and promotes the vision, even under pressure, it builds trust among employees and customers. It shows that the leader believes in and is committed to what they say, which is essential for building a loyal following.

Speaking with Fewer Words: The Power of Brevity

In the art of effective communication, concise language plays a crucial role, especially for leaders who position themselves as quiet authorities. These leaders understand that by using fewer words, they not only strengthen their message but also leave more space for the imagination and inspiration of their audience.

The Importance of Concise Communication:

Clarity: Speaking with fewer words promotes the clarity of the message. It forces the speaker to think about what is essential and eliminates unnecessary information.

Impact: Concise statements are often more powerful because they are easier to remember and leave a stronger impression on the audience.

Room for Interpretation: By not saying everything explicitly, a quiet authority gives the audience a chance to draw their own conclusions or think more deeply about the subject. This can enhance personal engagement and creative interpretation.

Example of Communicating with More vs. Fewer Words

Example 1: "Although we used to think and act differently, it has now become time to be more rebellious and daring. Safety and considering matters are also important, but the situation now demands that we take steps that we would not have quickly taken in the past. So, we have decided to dive in and open our first branch abroad, while of course closely monitoring how the developments will proceed and how the team will function."

Example 2: "We are an opportunity-driven enterprise and see opportunities where others sometimes do not. That's why we will open our first branch abroad."

Effectiveness of the Second Example from a Psychological Perspective:

Clarity: The second example is much clearer and more direct in its message. It avoids unnecessary words and goes straight to the point, making it easier for the audience to understand. By using concise wording, the message is conveyed more powerfully without distractions from irrelevant details.

Impact: The second example uses concise language to deliver a powerful message. The simple and direct phrasing makes it easier to remember and leaves a stronger impression on the audience. The focus is on the core message, helping the audience to retain the essence of what is being communicated.

Room for Interpretation: The concise wording of the second example leaves more room for interpretation and imagination in the audience. The audience is challenged to draw their own conclusions and think about the implications of the decision to open a branch abroad. This space for interpretation can increase the engagement and interest of the audience, as they are encouraged to actively think about the message.

Vision: It provides the listeners with an idea about the vision of the enterprise and creates space to embrace this vision.

Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication plays a crucial role in conveying authority and trust for quiet authorities. It includes not only body language but also tone of voice, eye contact, and gestures, all of which can convey a powerful message without words.

The Impact of Body Language in Conveying Authority and Trust

Quiet authorities understand that body language is a powerful tool for reinforcing their message. A straight posture, confident appearance, and calm movements contribute to conveying authority and trust to others.

The Importance of an Open and Relaxed Body Posture for Quiet Authorities

An open and relaxed body posture is vital for quiet authorities to create an atmosphere of trust and respect. By being open to others and maintaining a relaxed posture, they radiate authenticity and engagement.

Examples of Effective Non-Verbal Signals Consistent with the Message

  • Firm handshake (not too firm): A firm handshake conveys confidence and authority.

  • Eye contact: Direct eye contact shows sincere interest and engagement.

  • Open body posture: Arms relaxed at the sides and facing the conversation partner.

  • Calm gestures: Deliberate, calm gestures emphasize the message without creating distractions.

The Importance of Consistency

For quiet authorities, it is important that their non-verbal signals are consistent with their verbal message. This ensures credibility and enhances the impact of their communication.

Speaking with Mastery and Calm: The Power of Thoughtfulness

For quiet authorities, the ability to speak with mastery and calm is essential for reinforcing their credibility and authority. This method of communication is particularly effective for creating a thoughtful and competent impression.

Elon Musk, for example, is known for his sometimes hesitant speaking style, characterized by pauses and moments of reflection during public appearances. While some might view this as a weakness, it can also be interpreted as a sign of careful consideration and depth.

The Effect of Speaking Tempo and Calmness on Credibility:

Reflection and Depth: When leaders like Musk take time to weigh their words, it gives the impression that they are not impulsive in their decision-making or statements. This can enhance credibility because it shows that they are thoughtful and rational in their actions. Moments of reflection suggest that they are fully engaged with the subject and not merely possessing superficial knowledge.

Authenticity and Humanity: The natural behavior of sometimes hesitating or searching for words makes a speaker more relatable and authentic. This contrasts with an overly-polished or mechanical presentation, which can sometimes come across as impersonal and less trustworthy. Authenticity is a key component in leadership, especially for quiet authorities who want to build trust and respect without dominance.

Confidence and Assurance: By speaking slowly and with consideration, leaders project confidence. They show that they do not need to rush their speech to make their point, which exudes a sense of self-assurance and certainty. This has a calming effect on the audience and increases the likelihood that their message is effectively received and respected.

Influence on Listeners: A thoughtful speaking style compels the audience to listen more attentively and process the information more deeply. This can lead to greater understanding and appreciation of the content presented. It also encourages a more reflective response rather than an impulsive reaction, improving the quality of discussions and decision-making.

By employing these techniques, quiet authorities can deliver their messages powerfully and persuasively. They create an atmosphere of respect and thoughtfulness, which is essential for forming lasting relationships and conveying a vision in a complex, rapidly changing world.

Tips for Developing a Calm Speaking Style That Exudes Authority

Conscious Breathing: Taking deep breaths before and during speaking helps quiet authorities to remain calm and control their speaking tempo.

Using Pauses: Intentionally inserting brief pauses during speaking gives listeners a chance to process the message and enhances the impact of the words.

Focus on Articulation: Clear and precise articulation increases the clarity and comprehensibility of the message, thereby enhancing credibility.

Using Personal Perspective and Reliability

The use of personal language and sharing personal insights are crucial for quiet authorities to strengthen their credibility and establish a deeper connection with their audience.

The Effect of Personal Language Use and Sharing Personal Insights on Credibility:

Quiet authorities understand that sharing personal experiences and insights increases their credibility. By presenting themselves vulnerably and sharing their own perspective, they build trust with the audience and demonstrate their authenticity.

Strengthening Connection with the Audience through Personal Engagement and Experiences

The power of "I-statements" and sharing personal experiences is significant, especially for leaders perceived as quiet authorities. These forms of communication are essential for building authenticity and trust, leading to a stronger connection with the audience. Here we explore further how these elements work and why they are effective.


The use of "I-statements" is a powerful way to take responsibility for one's own opinions and feelings. This type of statement emphasizes the personal involvement of the speaker in the topic and shows that the leader stands by their words. It contributes to greater credibility and makes communication more direct and personal.

Benefits of I-statements:

Increased Engagement: When leaders use I-statements, they invite the audience to engage in a dialogue rather than just listening to a monologue. This fosters interaction and engagement.

Reduction of Defensiveness: I-statements can reduce defensiveness in the audience because the statements are perceived as less accusatory. They focus on the speaker and not the receiver, which helps in creating an open communication climate.

Sharing Personal Experiences:

Sharing personal experiences is another powerful tool for quiet authorities. By sharing personal stories and insights, leaders demonstrate that their advice and visions are based on concrete, real-life experiences. This not only increases the relevance of their message but also underscores their authenticity.

Effectiveness of Sharing Personal Experiences:

Authenticity: Personal experiences are unique and cannot be fabricated, which strengthens the authenticity of the speaker.

Emotional Connection: Personal stories often touch on universal themes and emotions, allowing listeners to identify with the speaker. This fosters empathy and sympathy.

Illustration of Principles: By sharing experiences that illustrate principles or lessons, a leader makes abstract concepts concrete and understandable.

Examples of Effective Use of Personal Perspectives:

Brené Brown and Simon Sinek are prominent examples of quiet authorities who effectively use personal perspectives. Brené Brown openly shares her struggles with vulnerability, helping her audience understand the value of her research into vulnerability and shame. Simon Sinek uses personal anecdotes to clarify his concepts such as "Start With Why," leading to deeper insights and a strong resonance with his listeners.

These methods not only make the messages of the leaders credible but also facilitate a profound connection with their audience. Consistently applying these communication techniques can significantly enhance the impact and influence of a quiet authority.

The Importance of Consistent Personal Perspective

Maintaining a consistent personal perspective and sharing experiences are essential for quiet authorities to sustain their credibility and trustworthiness. By consistently demonstrating their personal approach, they build a strong bond with their audience and enhance their long-term impact.

This approach aligns with the principles of authentic leadership, which prioritizes genuine interactions and transparency in communications. Leaders who practice quiet authority often find that their approach fosters a more inclusive and collaborative environment, encouraging diverse viewpoints and building a culture of mutual respect and understanding.

Strategic Communication for Quiet Authorities

To effectively employ the techniques of quiet authority, leaders should focus on several strategic aspects of communication:

Listening Actively: Quiet authorities excel in listening, which allows them to understand the needs and concerns of their team and stakeholders better. Active listening also signals respect and valance for others' opinions, building stronger relationships.

Choosing Moments to Speak: Knowing when to speak is as important as knowing what to say. Quiet authorities often speak less, but when they do, their words carry significant weight. They choose moments when their input will be most impactful, ensuring their messages are both heard and respected.

Setting the Emotional Tone: Leaders with quiet authority set the emotional tone for their teams and meetings. By remaining calm and composed, they can soothe tensions and foster a productive atmosphere even during stressful situations.

Using Metaphors and Analogies: To make complex ideas more relatable, quiet authorities often use metaphors and analogies. These tools help clarify their thoughts and make their visions more accessible to their audience.

Reinforcing Messages Through Repetition: Quiet authorities know that repetition is key to reinforcement. By consistently repeating core messages and values, they embed these concepts deeply within their team's consciousness, guiding behavior and decision-making.

Encouraging Reflective Thinking: By posing thoughtful questions and encouraging reflection, quiet authorities stimulate deeper thinking and innovation within their teams. This approach helps team members develop their analytical skills and fosters a sense of ownership over solutions.

Implementing Quiet Authority in Practice

Implementing quiet authority effectively requires a blend of humility, confidence, and strategic communication. Leaders should focus on cultivating an environment where their calm demeanor and thoughtful approach encourage others to step forward and voice their ideas confidently. This not only strengthens the team's overall capability but also democratizes the process of leadership, empowering others to lead from where they are.

Challenges and Considerations

While the approach of quiet authority has many advantages, it also comes with challenges. In cultures where assertiveness is highly valued, quieter forms of leadership may initially be misunderstood as weakness or indecisiveness. Therefore, quiet authorities must be adept at demonstrating the effectiveness of their style through consistent results and clear communication of their strategic intents.

Moreover, maintaining this style of leadership requires continuous self-awareness and adaptation. Leaders must be vigilant against the risk of becoming too passive or withdrawn, ensuring they strike the right balance between speaking up and stepping back.

Silent Authority Leadership Communication Coaching

Everyone can learn to communicate as a silent authority and thereby strengthen their leadership mindset. I have been writing speeches for decades and coaching entrepreneurs and executives on how to stand on stage and address groups of people.

Because it is more effective to offer this as a tailored service, you can turn to me for a personalized coaching trajectory, and I do not offer training for this purpose. Usually, within a few sessions, you will have the insights and tools to fully come across as a silent authority.

I live in the vicinity of Amsterdam, but I can also coach you online.


Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for Silent Authority Leadership Communication

What is silent authority leadership communication?

Silent authority leadership communication refers to a style of communication characterized by subtlety, authenticity, and connection, aimed at strengthening leadership presence and influence. It emphasizes the power of effective communication in conveying leadership qualities without the need for dominance or assertiveness.

How can I learn to communicate as a silent authority?

Learning to communicate as a silent authority involves understanding the nuances of communication, including word choice, tonality, non-verbal cues, and storytelling. By developing awareness of these elements and practicing strategic communication techniques, individuals can enhance their ability to embody silent authority in their interactions.

Who can benefit from mastering silent authority leadership communication?

Individuals in leadership roles or aspiring leaders who seek to enhance their communication skills and influence can benefit from mastering silent authority leadership communication. This includes entrepreneurs, executives, managers, and professionals across various industries who aim to lead with authenticity and impact.

What are the essential elements of effective communication for silent authorities?

Essential elements of effective communication for silent authorities include:

  • Impact of Words and Tonation

  • Importance of Word Choice

  • Examples of Effective and Ineffective Language Use

  • Subtle Tonality

  • Effective Use of Storytelling

  • Non-Verbal Communication

  • Speaking with Mastery and Calm

  • Using Personal Perspective and Reliability

Is silent authority leadership communication coaching available?

Yes, coaching services tailored to silent authority leadership communication are available. Coaching focuses on providing personalized guidance, feedback, and practical strategies to enhance communication effectiveness and leadership presence. Coaching sessions can be conducted in-person or online, depending on the client's preference and location.

Who is Ben Steenstra, and what is his role in the development of silent authority leadership communication?

Ben Steenstra is the originator of the silent authority leadership concept. With over 30 years of experience in advertising, working with international and national clients, as well as coaching and analyzing entrepreneurs, he has developed and refined the principles of silent authority leadership communication through practical experience and insights gained from diverse professional contexts.

Is coaching available for silent authority leadership communication?

While formal training programs are not offered, coaching services tailored to silent authority leadership communication may be available. Ben Steenstra specializes in providing personalized coaching, feedback, and strategies to enhance communication effectiveness and leadership presence. Coaching sessions can be conducted in-person or online, depending on the client's preference and location.

How can I apply silent authority leadership communication in my personal and professional life?

Silent authority leadership communication can be applied in various personal and professional contexts, including leading teams and organizations, influencing stakeholders, conducting presentations, navigating difficult conversations, building rapport, and inspiring others. By mastering the principles of silent authority communication, individuals can enhance their effectiveness as leaders and communicators.

What are the benefits of mastering silent authority leadership communication?

The benefits of mastering silent authority leadership communication include enhanced leadership presence and influence, improved relationships and collaboration, increased trust and credibility, greater clarity and effectiveness in communication, and the ability to inspire and motivate others. By embodying silent authority communication principles, individuals can achieve greater success in their personal and professional endeavors.

Where can I find more information about silent authority leadership communication?

For more information about silent authority leadership communication and insights from Ben Steenstra, individuals can explore articles, interviews, and resources available online. Additionally, connecting with Ben Steenstra directly or attending events where he shares his expertise may provide valuable insights into the principles and applications of silent authority leadership communication.

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